I’m going to Stop Self Medicating…tomorrow.

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Hola crew!  You down with my blogging crew?  Yeah, you know me!  Ok, some throw back to start it off.  I’m cheesy, I’m well aware and loving it. 

 

I’m going to keep running with the what worked for me.  I’m so stoked someone found value in my last blog and will probably rock her world.  Stoked, for sure.  I’m honored to be of service and I intend to help as many people as I can.  Stop thrashing through the thorns and pay heed to the ones who have already, almost, made it out.  You never really do.  Make it out.  The foliage just thins out, sometimes to where it’s barely even there.   

 

I’m going to try and start my blog with a review.  They say if you don’t review material after learning about it, you forget pretty soon after.  If you review something, you smoosh it a little deeper into the crevices of your brain, make it so it doesn’t blow away as easily.  So much blows away.  But we already know everything, so fuck it if it does. 

 

I’m in a strange mood, as you may be able to tell.  Way too wound up and really need to stop and take ten breaths.  The real deal deep breaths where you fill and unfill every nook and cranny of your body.  Suck it all in and spit it all back out.  Do it with me…..

 

Damn, what did you have for lunch?   

 

Better.  Calmer.  I think my heart rate may have dropped a few points.  Ok, so what’s worked. 

 

1) Control your thoughts, control your world.  Easiest way to tell what your thinking is to stop and analyze what emotions you’re experiencing.  Good?  Keep at it.  Bad? Reframe it to be good. 

 

2)  Believe in something bigger than yourself not for religion but so you can realize that the world does not revolve around you and that you’re just some dust speck, so stop being a useless dust speck, wake up…and believe in something greater than yourself so you can find your true calling and make your soul sing every day.  Instead of a sickly soul.  They were designed to sing. 

 

3) Address physical and/or emotional pain.  Emotional pain, you have to work thru.   Get a therapist yesterday.  Physical pain, you’d be amazed what you can learn with just a little curiosity.  Google is my best friend.  I’ve been the hot mess sprawled in the tall dusty stacks of whatever town library I may find myself in, piles of books strewn around me.   I’ve been an avid gorger of information all my life and I just credit being really curious about almost everything.  Some shit I don’t want to know about.  Like shit.  Don’t want to think about it.  What worked.   Focusing here…

 

4) Self-medication may be immediately gratifying but portion control for my fellow travelers is an elusive pipe dream.  Plus different strains, if you blaze like me, have different effects.  Like the dooky shit I have now that just makes me want to sleep.  But of course I can’t. 

 

Can’t nap anymore.  Not bitching, just observing.  It’s been months since I’ve napped.  I used to nap daily, no joke.  Daily for like years and years, and pretty much my entire life.  But now, no naps.  Sleep awesome every night, don’t hate.  Eyes usually heavy as hell when I crawl into bed and when I hit that pillow I’m out in milliseconds.  I totally get that I’m lucky as hell I sleep as well as I do.  I think it’s because I have a pretty clear conscious, I try to live in communion with my fellow travelers and say what I’m thinking instead of short stepping around what’s bothering me.  And my meds are working good. 

 

Much easier just to swallow 2 purple pills, ½ a yellow pill, ½ a white pill, throughout the day.  And my vitamins.  Don’t forget your vitamins!  Fish oil and 1 a day multi-vitamin.  Good combo.   It’s legal and I don’t have to go the exact speed limit so I don’t get popped for blazing in the car. 

 

Today’s lesson?  Stop self medicating.  I will when I run out of this last bag of pot.  I really think my new meds, maybe slightly increased, will make me better…for now.  Ahhh, the gift of being bipolar and the cocktail of pills that is our reality. 

 

I am so grateful to all of you out there who are reading this and all of you that are writing about your travels as well.  Because that’s what life is, one big long trip.  I’m stoked to be travelling in good company,

 

Sincerely Yours,

 

B. Wright 

5 thoughts on “I’m going to Stop Self Medicating…tomorrow.

  1. Excellent, I love your voice, you are funny but you’re sayin’ all the right stuff. Except about self-medicating. I will keep on that fucking medical marijuana train till it runs me straight into HELL, I say!!

    • You know, I never really thought that was an option. It’s ridunculous that it’s not. Do you live in Cali? It’s awesome that you hear about it in new places. What are we, barbaric neanderthals that say, we’re just going to ignore the staggering # of people that use this mainly as a means of self medication? Ridunculous! Glad we’ll be traveling buddies 🙂

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