Get Down & Dapper with Your Electrons

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Dog Park

I’ve been slipping lately on my Dapperdom so this rant is for me, with the hopes it helps you too!  Let’s take it back to the basics.  Building blocks, Lincoln logs, keep it simple, stupid.  We talked about all this before but Ima go there again.

Numero uno is deal with pain; physical, emotional, both have to be dealt with.  Personally, I’m doing all right here in this department.  I could use a couple Rolfings to straighten out my spine a little but I also know how to position myself so I straighten out my spine on my own…albeit much slower rate, but still.

And if I could get a good cocktail going with my meds, I’d be fine emotionally.  Blows me away, sometimes almost literally, how crazy I get when the meds stop working.  Half the time I think I just say they’re working cause I sincerely want to believe that.  And after a little while, the placebo effect wears off and out comes crazy again.

Enough of that.  Back to Dapperdom.  We’re all the same, literally.  If you go allllll the way down, deep, deep down, we’re just little electrons and protons and neutrons.  Zipping around, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly.  Did you know that sometimes electrons just DISAPEAR from one location and REAPEAR in another location!  Scientists will be watching them and then poof they’re gone from here and instantaneously show up over there.  And it happens all the time.  Woah.  I started getting a little queasy from all their jumping around inside of me!! Nobody really knows sometimes why they’re moving.  Oh wait that’s a lie.

I forget that we all know everything all ready.  We just forget.  So I guess we DO know why those little buggers jump around; I’m just drawing a blank at the present moment.  So when you get tired and, as I am now, start thinking about some caffeine, remember we got so much energy inside of us.  We could just up and disappear if we wanted too.  And I guess if we also have to remember how to do that.  Since we’re just electrons, and electrons can jump between worlds, well, shit…so can we.

I’m going to go for a walk along Rio Boonieville.  If you’d care to join me and the mutt, we’d love the company.  Set your electrons to Boonieville and I’ll see you soon!! You’re going to love it here!!  My electrons do!!

My 1st Book, Published on Smashwords Today!

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My tell all memoir, definitely not for the faint of heart, has been published on smashwords.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/286161

To all my fabulously Dapper Blogvillians, here’s a coupon for my book:

AB44B

This one is ONLY good for 24 hours and it makes the book FREE 🙂

If you snooze, you don’t quite lose.  Hey, I’m a Pro-Crastinator so here’s a coupon code good for a month…but not as sweet as free…

FF46H

Chiggidity Check Yourself

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Fire is Natures Reboot. What’s Yours?

One of the best things I ever did for myself was admit I had addiction problems and accept that I have bipolar disorder.  I’m by no ways saying this is easy to do, just that it was immensely helpful.  Reality had always been something I avoided at all costs…including my soul, at times. 

Honestly, it seems everyone is ducking out of reality these days.  TV is a serious reality avoider.  Plus, your even watching non-reality since science has proven that when you observe something, that thing changes.  It becomes aware of the observer and changes it’s behavior.  Be it a dog or a crazy Jersey lady or an amoeba, they all change. 

So I’d imagine the same things happens with our issues.  When we look at them, they, by law, will change.  See?  We can already put a dent in whatever we’re avoiding just by looking at it. 

Admitting I had issues needing to be dealt with enabled me to take a huge leap forward.  Cause when you admit it, can’t deny it anymore and you now have to take action.  Or I guess you don’t.  We always have the option to continue on the bumpy road we have chosen for ourselves. 

What?  I didn’t choose this shit hole of a life, you may say.  Wellllll, I think you did.  I was seeing a hypnotherapist for a little while.  You may have realized by now, my fellow Blogvillians, I’ll try anything to grow better.   During one of the sessions we went into my past lives.  See, in a Polarity treatment(again, another modality for healing) I realized I had intense grief issues. 

So we went back in time to figure it out.  I lost a husband, Paul, and I felt guilt over not warning him of the impending danger.  I held a little ceremony in the hills of New Mexico and honored him.  He never blamed me, he said.   Wow.  Way off track.   I whizzed thru another uneventful lonely life of my past.  And then my most recent one. 

The life before this one I’m in, I was a mess.  Actually OD’d.  So when I was born, I carried that energy over.  I was born in pain with colic and poorly designed inner ears, leading to what used to plague me my entire life, ear infections.  Not to mention drug addictions and bipolar disorder.  And so I carried that last life forward for most of my life. 

But then I saw a little glimmer of hope, somewhere…maybe in some child’s eye.  We control our destiny.  We determine our fate.  And so I set sail for the land of Dapperdom.  I paddled thru the seas with ease.  Used to always have storms, but these days, these days heading to Dapperdom…boat doesn’t rock too much anymore.   

So be real, what are you avoiding?  Change it right now by confronting it.  Tackle it!  Take it down!  Or perhaps…just admit.

Be Dapper Blogvillians.  

-B. Wright

 

Feng Shui Your Way to a Better Day; Part Uno

 

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Peaceful days in the Jemez Mountains, NM

In honor of Chinese New Year, I’m going to talk about Feng Shui.  In my quest of self-betterment I’ve maintained the attitude that if something has been around a long time, it’s got serious street cred with me.   

Like Acupuncture.  If you’ve never tried it, make an appointment today.  But not just one.  You need a to do a couple sessions in a row to see some drastic improvement on whatever it is that may ail you. 

Let’s get to business.  Feng Shui.  Your home, your office, your desk, any area that you habitat can be “shui-d”.  For impact purposes, choose an area you spend a lot of time in.  Or if you’re like me, go big or go home, do your whole house.  First things first, we need to draw a baqua map of your space.  It’s not too hard, don’t worry.    

First, jump out of your body and look at the space from above with a nice aerial perspective.  Ok, now come on back to your body and sketch the outline of the space.  Draw it with the entrance or front of the space at the bottom of the page and the back goes to the top of the page. 

Next, draw a perfect square around the outline, sharing the same line as the outline when appropriate.  Hang in there; we’re almost done, I promise.   

Within your square and right overtop of the outline of the space, draw a tic-tac-toe board so that now you have 9 equal segments within the square.   Each square represents a different zone.  Let’s label them.

Starting from bottom left corner and working our way clockwise:

Knowledge and Self Cultivation (K&SC)

Health and Family (H&F)

Wealth and Prosperity (W&P)

Fame and Reputation (F&R)

Love and Marriage (L&M)

Children and Creativity (C&C)

Helpful People and Travel (HP&T)

Career (C)

Center (goes in the center…)

So just to check you identified the areas properly, W&P is top left corner.  HP&T is bottom right corner.  Does it all match up?  Great!  Let’s keep going!

Are there any areas of your space that don’t go all the way to the square outline?  Maybe they’re outdoors, or for me, in a different apartment?  This is important. 

If possible, you must ground the corners of the baqua map.  Perhaps bury a crystal at the point, or do something ceremonial recognizing that space as part of your “shui-dom”, or kingdom, whatever you call your space.  I like Dapperdom.   

Draw in doors, windows, toilets, water drains, stairs and walls.  Now, get a compass, “they have an app for that”, and find north.  Mark your baqua map with all the cardinal directions, including the mix-breeds, SW, NE, etc.

Ok, there it is.  Your own personal baqua map.  I’m going to do a series of these, hence the “Part” part (hehe, had to do it).  Maybe you should redraw it so it’s legible and since now you know what needs to go where.   This little map will be a major part of our shui-ing of your space.  Make it nice. 

All right Dapperville, till the next time…Keep it real, keep it Dapper. 

-B. Wright         

Dig to Your Depths and Climb for the Cosmos Blogville!

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B Big Blogville!! B Bold!!
Bbbbb a puppy every moment of life!

First and foremost, my apologies for my absence.  We talked about this, though.  I already covered my tracks on this one.  Kind of checked out for a little but I’m back.  

Being bipolar means having 2 sides, one stoked and ready to take over the world.  One tired…sooo tired all the time.  And ideally, we all reside somewhere in the middle.  Like the Buddha, we walk the middle path to enlightenment.

We’re going to do a review today.  We talked about this, too.  Of course, you already know everything so it’s not really a review but a reminder.  So some reminders today. 

Numero uno is take care of pain.  Physical or emotional, both need to be worked thru.  Not around, not ignored, but dealt with.  Stop stumbling around over all the shit you keep sweeping under the rug.  Own up.  No one else is gonna’ fucking do it for you.  (Wo)Man up. 

It’s a whole new world when you take care of what ails you.  Sun shines a little brighter.  Grass is just a little greener.  And you become a lot more available.  If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for the rest of us. 

You in ‘A’ game not only benefits you, but all those you come in contact with, and they come in contact with and so on like some kind of positive STD spreading virally.   Positive, happy STD, though, folks.  We’re talking love and goodness.   Love bomb shit. 

Second best thing you can do after, or while, you fix what ails you is tune in to your diet.  Not counting calories and denying ourselves but being conscious of what goes into you. Like the gas you put into your car.  You wanna’ keep a car long term, you always put the premium gas in.  It really does make a big difference.  Same with our shells. 

As long as we feed and water our shell healthy, natural things and not processed chicken pieces and corn syrup in a glass, our shells will run like fine tuned machines.  Rev it up and see. 

Becoming conscious of allergies I have to certain foods has made a world of difference in my life.  Why go thru pain when you can just avoid that food?  Do some research on how to do a food elimination diet.  Try out the different common problem foods and see how you feel.  I just know there’s people out there that would swear they were reborn after they do this.  It’s liberating when you take control. 

When you get in the drivers seat and you claim ownership for all the good things and all the bad things.  See, when you accept responsibility, no one has power over you.  No one does anything to you.  You choose how you interact with the world every single fucking breath you take.   Check yourself.  You bringing love?  Or you bringing hate?  Only two ways about it, really. 

Gotta’ take care of yourselves, Blogville, and bring love to the table.  Not just for you, you selfish bastard, but for all the rest of us that have to share the world with you. 

We smell you when you stink and we hear you when you whine.  So shut the fuck up and tune into your higher self.  Connect with source and feel the energy pulse thru your body.  Thru your entire body and out into the whole wide world…making everything smell and sound and all the rest of the senses…better. 

And before I peace out, I just want to say, Blogville, you look good.  You look so good, well, shit, I’d say you look dapper.  Is it real?  Does it go thru and thru?  If not, you better get in that driver’s seat and gun it towards dapperdom!!  Dapperdom is your natural state.  Your best self.  I see it in you.  Just over the horizon. 

Put your shoulder into and dig!  Dig to your depths and climb for the cosmos! 

Be still.  Be Big.  Be Dapper.

-B. Wright

  

Find Your Main Thing, Today!

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The cutest dog ever
Miss Luna C.

I was dog sitting for a client recently and I picked up a book I had read there before, on previous dog sits.  It’s a business book on being more efficient, etc. and I remember enjoying the easy format.  I wasn’t compelled to reread it because, honestly, everyone seems to say the same things. 

 

Once you’ve read a handful of self-growth books, (self-help always sounded so weak and pathetic to me), you’ve read them all.  Yeah, yeah, be a good person.  Yeah, yeah, be a good listener. 

 

So I was just thumbing through this book and trying to “remind” myself of all these things.  We’ve talked about it before.  We all know everything already, we just get distracted easily.  So I “remind” myself about defining for you, and your team, what is the main thing?  Sure, sometimes there’s thing”s”.  But ultimately, what is your main thing? 

 

For some, that’s easy.  Their religion.   Their children, family, etc.  I don’t really have those things.  So what’s my main thing? 

 

A few years back, when I began this path of Dapperdom I stumbled upon a personal inventory.  I may have spoke of this before, apologies for repittion, damn pot.  I’m quitting today. 

 

At the end of the inventory, and it takes sometime to complete, it paints a great picture for you and helps you pick a main thing.   It illuminates what matter to you, what your good at, etc.  For me, my main thing since I began the Dapperdom Program has been the B. Wright Retreat. 

 

When I was quitting cocaine in South Lake Tahoe, I was far from home and once I stopped, I suddenly had no friends.  I was very alone and I struggled for an entire year to stop.  So Ok, I would have friends again for 3 days…then not for 2…then for 4 then not for 7.  You get the idea of how that year went for me. 

 

Mr. Harry was my rock through it all, and I thank you Mr. Harry.  I called him Mr. because he may or may not have had other intentions for our relationship but I certainly didn’t.  So I called him Mr. Harry almost from the get go. 

 

He just always hung around the car lot where I worked during the day, which is annoying when your trying to shut the blinds, lock the door and throw back a couple lines.   Partners owned that lot.  One was a lonely man who did coke that I met in a bar and subsequently got a coke supply and a job.  The other was a nice family guy.  The family guy eventually hired Mr. Harry.  Mr. Harry stopped taking my calls a few years back. 

 

My “friends” didn’t think I had a problem.  I remember distinctly this gal that used to be my ace.  I mean inseperable.  Our dogs were even BFF.  She actually grew very upset with me that I couldn’t just go and have a glass of wine.  She couldn’t understand.  For me, one drink = cocaine eventually that evening, without fail.  Because one drink means at least two and being as small as I am, two drinks meant I had to find some lonely person to share their cocaine with me. 

 

But she didn’t have a problem with cocaine.  She could take it or leave it.  But she was adamant that I needed to be able to have a glass of wine.  She basically “broke up” with me after that.  Funny…years later she became part of another reason for the B. Wright Retreat. 

 

When I was living in Jackson Hole, I let my world crumble around me.  Oh, that’s not the first time, but it was just a particularly hard crumble to get through.  Sure it made me me but it couldv’e been a lot less painful. 

 

Suddenly I was broke, homeless and unemployed within a matter of a week.  Well, the broke part took an extravagant vacation to Puerto Rico, convertible and all, paired with expecting at least a $14,000 Christmas bonus in a month shaken with a dash of mania and you have a delicious cocktail of shit. 

 

Both of these times, and other times, I wished there was somewhere poor people could go to get back on their feet.  Basically rehab, I guess.  But rehab when THEY wanted to go. 

 

No one would ever be able to come forced.  They could force people other where, sorry.  I can’t solve every ones problems.  See…when people are forced, they don’t quit, do they?  It’s a long fucking life of stints in rehab and jail and you get the picture.  People who have come to terms that they have a problem, that how they’re living is not working, they’re the kind of people that can go to B. Wright Retreat. 

 

Totally free for the weary soul aside from being part of the team.  It’s going to be a working farm and we’ll always be building more earthships for more people to come and stay.  And of course we’d have a great library with computers and a librarian and people can learn a new skill…as far as you can online.  And we’d have therapists, an MD, a DOM, and everyone else that can help a person learn to stand up. 

 

And basically be a self-sustainable establishment that those who are ready can crawl to.  And hopefully after however long they need, they can stand up and walk out ready to conquer the world.  Of course this wonderful place will be sponsored by all kinds of wonderful wealthy people. 

 

That for me is the main thing.  And I forget that a lot.  In these current times of feeling broke and mildly overwhelmed with my life and kind of suicidal I just remind myself of that main thing.  And it makes it so much easier to carry on. 

So tell me Blogvillians, what’s Your main thing? 

B. Wright

Escape Egocentrism for the Blissful Land of Cosmocentrism…Today.

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Addiction keeps a soul in an egocentric mentality.  An addict has only one thing higher than self…our drug/food/person-‘fill in the blank’ of choice.   Then comes self, making use of said “higher good”, of course.  And next, everyone and everything else in varying degrees for each individual.  But numero uno will always be the drug. 

 

I’m just going to use drug because that’s what I relate to.  I was trying to explain it to a friend how as soon as I wake up there’s this little voice in my head, “Why don’t you smoke?  Let’s smoke!  Pack a bowl, come on!  Let’s go!” 

 

I know, Pot isn’t really addictive and why I’ve been recently struggling to quit has been beyond me.   I’ve quit smoking pot probably 10, 20, shit, I have no idea honestly how many times.  I’ve done it numerous times.  Same with cigarettes but I think I’m finally done with those. 

 

I got to thinking that our body is just a shell for our soul.  Some of the shells out there are awesome, some suck, most are somewhere in between.  I think I got pretty lucky with my shell and I’ve made a conscious effort to improve the infinite imperfections I have, one by one. 

 

But to really get the most of my shell, smoking cigarettes didn’t make sense.  So I struggle and cough when I try to run and play?  Gross.  And I stink?  Grosser.  And if I could see what was being done to the inside of me from cigarettes? 

 

Well, logically it just didn’t make sense to me to continue cigarettes.  To be honest, when I drink, I will smoke occasionally.  But I drink like 5 times a year.  I’m “allergic” to booze.  I’m fine.  I’m fine.  I’m fine.  Then wham!  Buck wild B comes out and shortly after the blackout does as well. 

 

I have to be a few drinks back for smoking a “square” not to be gross to me.  Used to be by the time I was slurping the bottom of drink one, I needed a smoke. 

 

Look at that word…“needed”.  That’s addiction.  Need something that really is not good for you.  Does not truly benefit you and in fact, is doing harm to you.  We need air.  We need water.  We need…a cigarette?    

 

8 years ago I quit cocaine.  8 fucking years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been that long.  3 years ago I did it 3 times.  3rd time saw some of that ugly behavior coke brings out of people early in the morning and decided I didn’t want to run around with that drama again.  Been there.  Done that.  Never again. 

 

So now, I’ve been just smoking pot.  The doc said I was smoking because the meds were off.  Now I’m supposed to be “properly” medicated but I still reach for the pot.  I have been a huge, huge lover of marijuana for…well, 19 years.  That’s insane for me to write that because it sure as hell doesn’t seem like a fifth of a century.  Let me take a puff and contemplate this…

.

.

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Well, it is what is.  I feel like some strains make me sluggish.  Some by the end of the day, I’m so zonked I just want to stare at the TV, or worse, pass out and sleep for some long ass time.  I’ve been sleeping more lately.  C’est la vie.  What goes up must come down. 

 

I have every intention of continuing to be a part of Blogville, I just fear as the darkness comes back, I’ll be cloaked with the heavy force.  The tiring force.  Those not blessed with bipolar or have never truly experienced depression can’t truly empathize. 

 

Where your body feels 900 lbs.  It aches all over.  Everything is a struggle.  You’re so exhausted…from walking across the room.  You just woke up from a 10 hour sleep and you could sleep for another 10 hours. 

 

I haven’t been there in a while.  Kudos to the meds, and I think it’s important to do, I’ma give myself some kudos too.  I’ve worked hard over the past…well, 8 years about.    

 

Self betterment is not an overnight fix.  It’s a path.  And it’s not a specific trodden way…many routes lead to the same destination.  No two paths can ever be the same, for each has it’s own unique detours and scenic routes.  But though our travels may differ, we all quest for the same thing.  Our true highest good…pure, blissful energy, pulsing as we’ve evolved to a cosmicentric point of view. 

 

And at that level…there’s no room for egocentric people.  Through evolution, they can not exist anymore in this new world order.   Addictions must be burnt down like a raging forest fire leaving only smoldery ashes.  And from that charred earth, we will grow so strong and so healthy, brimming with life force and infinite possibilities. 

 

Go Be Dapper Blogvillians. 

 

-B.Wright