Find Your Main Thing, Today!

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The cutest dog ever
Miss Luna C.

I was dog sitting for a client recently and I picked up a book I had read there before, on previous dog sits.  It’s a business book on being more efficient, etc. and I remember enjoying the easy format.  I wasn’t compelled to reread it because, honestly, everyone seems to say the same things. 

 

Once you’ve read a handful of self-growth books, (self-help always sounded so weak and pathetic to me), you’ve read them all.  Yeah, yeah, be a good person.  Yeah, yeah, be a good listener. 

 

So I was just thumbing through this book and trying to “remind” myself of all these things.  We’ve talked about it before.  We all know everything already, we just get distracted easily.  So I “remind” myself about defining for you, and your team, what is the main thing?  Sure, sometimes there’s thing”s”.  But ultimately, what is your main thing? 

 

For some, that’s easy.  Their religion.   Their children, family, etc.  I don’t really have those things.  So what’s my main thing? 

 

A few years back, when I began this path of Dapperdom I stumbled upon a personal inventory.  I may have spoke of this before, apologies for repittion, damn pot.  I’m quitting today. 

 

At the end of the inventory, and it takes sometime to complete, it paints a great picture for you and helps you pick a main thing.   It illuminates what matter to you, what your good at, etc.  For me, my main thing since I began the Dapperdom Program has been the B. Wright Retreat. 

 

When I was quitting cocaine in South Lake Tahoe, I was far from home and once I stopped, I suddenly had no friends.  I was very alone and I struggled for an entire year to stop.  So Ok, I would have friends again for 3 days…then not for 2…then for 4 then not for 7.  You get the idea of how that year went for me. 

 

Mr. Harry was my rock through it all, and I thank you Mr. Harry.  I called him Mr. because he may or may not have had other intentions for our relationship but I certainly didn’t.  So I called him Mr. Harry almost from the get go. 

 

He just always hung around the car lot where I worked during the day, which is annoying when your trying to shut the blinds, lock the door and throw back a couple lines.   Partners owned that lot.  One was a lonely man who did coke that I met in a bar and subsequently got a coke supply and a job.  The other was a nice family guy.  The family guy eventually hired Mr. Harry.  Mr. Harry stopped taking my calls a few years back. 

 

My “friends” didn’t think I had a problem.  I remember distinctly this gal that used to be my ace.  I mean inseperable.  Our dogs were even BFF.  She actually grew very upset with me that I couldn’t just go and have a glass of wine.  She couldn’t understand.  For me, one drink = cocaine eventually that evening, without fail.  Because one drink means at least two and being as small as I am, two drinks meant I had to find some lonely person to share their cocaine with me. 

 

But she didn’t have a problem with cocaine.  She could take it or leave it.  But she was adamant that I needed to be able to have a glass of wine.  She basically “broke up” with me after that.  Funny…years later she became part of another reason for the B. Wright Retreat. 

 

When I was living in Jackson Hole, I let my world crumble around me.  Oh, that’s not the first time, but it was just a particularly hard crumble to get through.  Sure it made me me but it couldv’e been a lot less painful. 

 

Suddenly I was broke, homeless and unemployed within a matter of a week.  Well, the broke part took an extravagant vacation to Puerto Rico, convertible and all, paired with expecting at least a $14,000 Christmas bonus in a month shaken with a dash of mania and you have a delicious cocktail of shit. 

 

Both of these times, and other times, I wished there was somewhere poor people could go to get back on their feet.  Basically rehab, I guess.  But rehab when THEY wanted to go. 

 

No one would ever be able to come forced.  They could force people other where, sorry.  I can’t solve every ones problems.  See…when people are forced, they don’t quit, do they?  It’s a long fucking life of stints in rehab and jail and you get the picture.  People who have come to terms that they have a problem, that how they’re living is not working, they’re the kind of people that can go to B. Wright Retreat. 

 

Totally free for the weary soul aside from being part of the team.  It’s going to be a working farm and we’ll always be building more earthships for more people to come and stay.  And of course we’d have a great library with computers and a librarian and people can learn a new skill…as far as you can online.  And we’d have therapists, an MD, a DOM, and everyone else that can help a person learn to stand up. 

 

And basically be a self-sustainable establishment that those who are ready can crawl to.  And hopefully after however long they need, they can stand up and walk out ready to conquer the world.  Of course this wonderful place will be sponsored by all kinds of wonderful wealthy people. 

 

That for me is the main thing.  And I forget that a lot.  In these current times of feeling broke and mildly overwhelmed with my life and kind of suicidal I just remind myself of that main thing.  And it makes it so much easier to carry on. 

So tell me Blogvillians, what’s Your main thing? 

B. Wright

F. Resolutions…I’m setting Goals.

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Looking at the date kind of weirds me out.  Surreal almost.  But real as hell.  It’s 2013!  The Mayans believed it marked a changing time, a shift.  Not the end of the world, obviously. 

 

They believe life is cyclic, which it really is, if you think about it.  A life is created in a woman in a cycle.  When I think of Chakras and work on getting the assigned color to shoot out of me in the assigned location, I watch them cyclone out of me…just saying. 

 

Lot of fucking circles around the topic of life, which is really just energy.  You know that, right?  Everything is made up of the same exact things.  My bed is the same as my dog.  I’m the same as my laptop.  If you get right down to it. 

 

We’re all moving at much different speeds, of course.  But you know why we are so lucky to be born humans?  We have self-awareness.  We can step outside of ourselves and see ourselves from an observer perspective.  The dresser won’t do that.  He, yes he, will never step outside himself to say Am I being a good dresser?  Am I working the smartest I could work?  That handle has been needing repair for some time now, time to take action!

 

Everything is animate to me.  Even a rock, since they change over time…it has life, everything changes.  Things that have moving pieces, like my laptop, Daisy, they have names.  Or my old laptop, Olga.  You could probably envision the difference between the two.  One light and playful, one old and having to work hard to do things.  Not that all Olga’s are old, mind you.  They just are in my mind. 

 

This year, it’s time to start saying Yes.  Think about your dreams and goals and say Yes.  I’m going to make that happen this year.  Envision your goals. 

 

Don’t have them?  You’ve got some work to do.  I used to never have goals.  My goal was make enough money to pay my bills and enjoy life with the rest of your time.  Not that I don’t enjoy life now.  I just used to over enjoy, let’s say.  I still do. 

 

It’s important to take inventory on yourself.  Just like you do on your car every quarter, you should tend to yourself, taking a quarterly inventory on you and your life.  Taking inventory let’s you look at your life from that outside perspective…from a self-aware stance. 

 

Are my actions and priorities what they need to be to get me where I want to go?  Are all my handles on tight?  Am I truly putting it all in, and just saying yes, yes, I’m going to make this happen this year!  No doubt.  I can taste it, I just KNOW it’s gonna go down!    

 

So what’s your goal for this year?  Fuck Resolutions.  Let’s set goals.  This way, there’s no mistakes’, just lessons.  You mess up a resolution, you messed it up, why not just give up altogether now?  Right?

 

You mess up a goal?  You learn what not to do next time and keep striving, keep driving.  It’s work.  Don’t think I’m going to be like one of those people that say things will change overnight.  You need to be committed, engaged, and enthused about what it is your striving for over the long haul.  It’s a life style, not magic.    

 

We can work together, to support each other and encourage each other.  Just by sending our energy out to you from the core of Blogville, out to the world.  We can give energy so freely because it is all around us, but of course you know that.  Pulsing, flowing, in a cyclic like fashion.  Abundantly present. 

 

Go be Dapper, Blogvillians! 

 

B. Wright