Dig to Your Depths and Climb for the Cosmos Blogville!

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B Big Blogville!! B Bold!!
Bbbbb a puppy every moment of life!

First and foremost, my apologies for my absence.  We talked about this, though.  I already covered my tracks on this one.  Kind of checked out for a little but I’m back.  

Being bipolar means having 2 sides, one stoked and ready to take over the world.  One tired…sooo tired all the time.  And ideally, we all reside somewhere in the middle.  Like the Buddha, we walk the middle path to enlightenment.

We’re going to do a review today.  We talked about this, too.  Of course, you already know everything so it’s not really a review but a reminder.  So some reminders today. 

Numero uno is take care of pain.  Physical or emotional, both need to be worked thru.  Not around, not ignored, but dealt with.  Stop stumbling around over all the shit you keep sweeping under the rug.  Own up.  No one else is gonna’ fucking do it for you.  (Wo)Man up. 

It’s a whole new world when you take care of what ails you.  Sun shines a little brighter.  Grass is just a little greener.  And you become a lot more available.  If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for the rest of us. 

You in ‘A’ game not only benefits you, but all those you come in contact with, and they come in contact with and so on like some kind of positive STD spreading virally.   Positive, happy STD, though, folks.  We’re talking love and goodness.   Love bomb shit. 

Second best thing you can do after, or while, you fix what ails you is tune in to your diet.  Not counting calories and denying ourselves but being conscious of what goes into you. Like the gas you put into your car.  You wanna’ keep a car long term, you always put the premium gas in.  It really does make a big difference.  Same with our shells. 

As long as we feed and water our shell healthy, natural things and not processed chicken pieces and corn syrup in a glass, our shells will run like fine tuned machines.  Rev it up and see. 

Becoming conscious of allergies I have to certain foods has made a world of difference in my life.  Why go thru pain when you can just avoid that food?  Do some research on how to do a food elimination diet.  Try out the different common problem foods and see how you feel.  I just know there’s people out there that would swear they were reborn after they do this.  It’s liberating when you take control. 

When you get in the drivers seat and you claim ownership for all the good things and all the bad things.  See, when you accept responsibility, no one has power over you.  No one does anything to you.  You choose how you interact with the world every single fucking breath you take.   Check yourself.  You bringing love?  Or you bringing hate?  Only two ways about it, really. 

Gotta’ take care of yourselves, Blogville, and bring love to the table.  Not just for you, you selfish bastard, but for all the rest of us that have to share the world with you. 

We smell you when you stink and we hear you when you whine.  So shut the fuck up and tune into your higher self.  Connect with source and feel the energy pulse thru your body.  Thru your entire body and out into the whole wide world…making everything smell and sound and all the rest of the senses…better. 

And before I peace out, I just want to say, Blogville, you look good.  You look so good, well, shit, I’d say you look dapper.  Is it real?  Does it go thru and thru?  If not, you better get in that driver’s seat and gun it towards dapperdom!!  Dapperdom is your natural state.  Your best self.  I see it in you.  Just over the horizon. 

Put your shoulder into and dig!  Dig to your depths and climb for the cosmos! 

Be still.  Be Big.  Be Dapper.

-B. Wright

  

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Find Your Main Thing, Today!

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The cutest dog ever
Miss Luna C.

I was dog sitting for a client recently and I picked up a book I had read there before, on previous dog sits.  It’s a business book on being more efficient, etc. and I remember enjoying the easy format.  I wasn’t compelled to reread it because, honestly, everyone seems to say the same things. 

 

Once you’ve read a handful of self-growth books, (self-help always sounded so weak and pathetic to me), you’ve read them all.  Yeah, yeah, be a good person.  Yeah, yeah, be a good listener. 

 

So I was just thumbing through this book and trying to “remind” myself of all these things.  We’ve talked about it before.  We all know everything already, we just get distracted easily.  So I “remind” myself about defining for you, and your team, what is the main thing?  Sure, sometimes there’s thing”s”.  But ultimately, what is your main thing? 

 

For some, that’s easy.  Their religion.   Their children, family, etc.  I don’t really have those things.  So what’s my main thing? 

 

A few years back, when I began this path of Dapperdom I stumbled upon a personal inventory.  I may have spoke of this before, apologies for repittion, damn pot.  I’m quitting today. 

 

At the end of the inventory, and it takes sometime to complete, it paints a great picture for you and helps you pick a main thing.   It illuminates what matter to you, what your good at, etc.  For me, my main thing since I began the Dapperdom Program has been the B. Wright Retreat. 

 

When I was quitting cocaine in South Lake Tahoe, I was far from home and once I stopped, I suddenly had no friends.  I was very alone and I struggled for an entire year to stop.  So Ok, I would have friends again for 3 days…then not for 2…then for 4 then not for 7.  You get the idea of how that year went for me. 

 

Mr. Harry was my rock through it all, and I thank you Mr. Harry.  I called him Mr. because he may or may not have had other intentions for our relationship but I certainly didn’t.  So I called him Mr. Harry almost from the get go. 

 

He just always hung around the car lot where I worked during the day, which is annoying when your trying to shut the blinds, lock the door and throw back a couple lines.   Partners owned that lot.  One was a lonely man who did coke that I met in a bar and subsequently got a coke supply and a job.  The other was a nice family guy.  The family guy eventually hired Mr. Harry.  Mr. Harry stopped taking my calls a few years back. 

 

My “friends” didn’t think I had a problem.  I remember distinctly this gal that used to be my ace.  I mean inseperable.  Our dogs were even BFF.  She actually grew very upset with me that I couldn’t just go and have a glass of wine.  She couldn’t understand.  For me, one drink = cocaine eventually that evening, without fail.  Because one drink means at least two and being as small as I am, two drinks meant I had to find some lonely person to share their cocaine with me. 

 

But she didn’t have a problem with cocaine.  She could take it or leave it.  But she was adamant that I needed to be able to have a glass of wine.  She basically “broke up” with me after that.  Funny…years later she became part of another reason for the B. Wright Retreat. 

 

When I was living in Jackson Hole, I let my world crumble around me.  Oh, that’s not the first time, but it was just a particularly hard crumble to get through.  Sure it made me me but it couldv’e been a lot less painful. 

 

Suddenly I was broke, homeless and unemployed within a matter of a week.  Well, the broke part took an extravagant vacation to Puerto Rico, convertible and all, paired with expecting at least a $14,000 Christmas bonus in a month shaken with a dash of mania and you have a delicious cocktail of shit. 

 

Both of these times, and other times, I wished there was somewhere poor people could go to get back on their feet.  Basically rehab, I guess.  But rehab when THEY wanted to go. 

 

No one would ever be able to come forced.  They could force people other where, sorry.  I can’t solve every ones problems.  See…when people are forced, they don’t quit, do they?  It’s a long fucking life of stints in rehab and jail and you get the picture.  People who have come to terms that they have a problem, that how they’re living is not working, they’re the kind of people that can go to B. Wright Retreat. 

 

Totally free for the weary soul aside from being part of the team.  It’s going to be a working farm and we’ll always be building more earthships for more people to come and stay.  And of course we’d have a great library with computers and a librarian and people can learn a new skill…as far as you can online.  And we’d have therapists, an MD, a DOM, and everyone else that can help a person learn to stand up. 

 

And basically be a self-sustainable establishment that those who are ready can crawl to.  And hopefully after however long they need, they can stand up and walk out ready to conquer the world.  Of course this wonderful place will be sponsored by all kinds of wonderful wealthy people. 

 

That for me is the main thing.  And I forget that a lot.  In these current times of feeling broke and mildly overwhelmed with my life and kind of suicidal I just remind myself of that main thing.  And it makes it so much easier to carry on. 

So tell me Blogvillians, what’s Your main thing? 

B. Wright

Escape Egocentrism for the Blissful Land of Cosmocentrism…Today.

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Addiction keeps a soul in an egocentric mentality.  An addict has only one thing higher than self…our drug/food/person-‘fill in the blank’ of choice.   Then comes self, making use of said “higher good”, of course.  And next, everyone and everything else in varying degrees for each individual.  But numero uno will always be the drug. 

 

I’m just going to use drug because that’s what I relate to.  I was trying to explain it to a friend how as soon as I wake up there’s this little voice in my head, “Why don’t you smoke?  Let’s smoke!  Pack a bowl, come on!  Let’s go!” 

 

I know, Pot isn’t really addictive and why I’ve been recently struggling to quit has been beyond me.   I’ve quit smoking pot probably 10, 20, shit, I have no idea honestly how many times.  I’ve done it numerous times.  Same with cigarettes but I think I’m finally done with those. 

 

I got to thinking that our body is just a shell for our soul.  Some of the shells out there are awesome, some suck, most are somewhere in between.  I think I got pretty lucky with my shell and I’ve made a conscious effort to improve the infinite imperfections I have, one by one. 

 

But to really get the most of my shell, smoking cigarettes didn’t make sense.  So I struggle and cough when I try to run and play?  Gross.  And I stink?  Grosser.  And if I could see what was being done to the inside of me from cigarettes? 

 

Well, logically it just didn’t make sense to me to continue cigarettes.  To be honest, when I drink, I will smoke occasionally.  But I drink like 5 times a year.  I’m “allergic” to booze.  I’m fine.  I’m fine.  I’m fine.  Then wham!  Buck wild B comes out and shortly after the blackout does as well. 

 

I have to be a few drinks back for smoking a “square” not to be gross to me.  Used to be by the time I was slurping the bottom of drink one, I needed a smoke. 

 

Look at that word…“needed”.  That’s addiction.  Need something that really is not good for you.  Does not truly benefit you and in fact, is doing harm to you.  We need air.  We need water.  We need…a cigarette?    

 

8 years ago I quit cocaine.  8 fucking years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been that long.  3 years ago I did it 3 times.  3rd time saw some of that ugly behavior coke brings out of people early in the morning and decided I didn’t want to run around with that drama again.  Been there.  Done that.  Never again. 

 

So now, I’ve been just smoking pot.  The doc said I was smoking because the meds were off.  Now I’m supposed to be “properly” medicated but I still reach for the pot.  I have been a huge, huge lover of marijuana for…well, 19 years.  That’s insane for me to write that because it sure as hell doesn’t seem like a fifth of a century.  Let me take a puff and contemplate this…

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Well, it is what is.  I feel like some strains make me sluggish.  Some by the end of the day, I’m so zonked I just want to stare at the TV, or worse, pass out and sleep for some long ass time.  I’ve been sleeping more lately.  C’est la vie.  What goes up must come down. 

 

I have every intention of continuing to be a part of Blogville, I just fear as the darkness comes back, I’ll be cloaked with the heavy force.  The tiring force.  Those not blessed with bipolar or have never truly experienced depression can’t truly empathize. 

 

Where your body feels 900 lbs.  It aches all over.  Everything is a struggle.  You’re so exhausted…from walking across the room.  You just woke up from a 10 hour sleep and you could sleep for another 10 hours. 

 

I haven’t been there in a while.  Kudos to the meds, and I think it’s important to do, I’ma give myself some kudos too.  I’ve worked hard over the past…well, 8 years about.    

 

Self betterment is not an overnight fix.  It’s a path.  And it’s not a specific trodden way…many routes lead to the same destination.  No two paths can ever be the same, for each has it’s own unique detours and scenic routes.  But though our travels may differ, we all quest for the same thing.  Our true highest good…pure, blissful energy, pulsing as we’ve evolved to a cosmicentric point of view. 

 

And at that level…there’s no room for egocentric people.  Through evolution, they can not exist anymore in this new world order.   Addictions must be burnt down like a raging forest fire leaving only smoldery ashes.  And from that charred earth, we will grow so strong and so healthy, brimming with life force and infinite possibilities. 

 

Go Be Dapper Blogvillians. 

 

-B.Wright

Micro Adjustments can have Macro Changes

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Hi Blogville!  So great to be here with you guys.  Today I want to talk about micro adjustments we can make to our lives that will have macro effects!  Little things, big difference.   

 

We talked about pain.  Has to be dealt with.  Read some old blogs I wrote on the subject if you struggle with pain.  Take control.  Get in the drivers seat. 

 

Do body scans throughout the day.  Up and down.  Where am I all tight and achy?  Breathe into that area.  Seriously.  Find an area of discomfort in your body.  Close your eyes and imagine as you breath, this area is filled with air and light, and opens up to be healed.  Keep breathing in to the pain and what do you know?  Pain is removed. 

 

Sure, temporarily.  I haven’t figured out how to make it long term except fix what ails you.  I usually have lower back pain from my scoliosis down there.  But I make a point that I am comfortable as possible.  That any pillows, etc. have been fully utilized to minimize any strain or stress to the area.  And I always consciously correct and unwind my spine, all day long.

 

Always cold?  I know it sounds obvious, but put some layers on.  I wear leggings and pants as well as lots of top layers as well, through the cold times.  I’m wearing a winter hat inside right now because it’s maybe one degree Fahrenheit outside.  And I love my hat.  And to be more sustainable and need less energy, I’m always layered.  But people will bitch about being cold and you look at them, and they have one little button up shirt on, with no wife beater or anything.  Of course you’re fucking cold, it’s winter and your dressed like summer!   

 

Is something broke and you just keep dealing with it?  Create a list of “What’s Bugging You?”  Pick 5 things that are bothering you.  The key in the lock sticks.  You don’t have a spare key stashed away.  Whatever your situation may be that causes you to occasionally panic or grow upset.    Do one item off the bugging you list each day or each week.  It’s interesting how much peace can be experienced when we’ve smoothed all the wrinkles of our lives and stay in the present moment. 

 

If you were to look at my credit card statements, student loans, and the dismal state of my investments and savings, you’d think I’d be the last person you’d take financial advice from.  But I read, remember?  And I often remember what I read!  Action and awareness are very, very different.  But they help each other work better.  Make a list of your five biggest bills.  Find a way to reduce one of them.  And I do this.  Every quarter or so.  Ok, maybe twice a year.  But still, every bit helps and if I were to look at what I was paying every month before to now, it’s amazing how far I’ve come.  

 

These kinds of micro adjustments will have a big impact on you later down the road.  Be aware.  Be present.  And grow dapperdom with each conscious breath,

 

B. Wright 

F. Resolutions…I’m setting Goals.

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Looking at the date kind of weirds me out.  Surreal almost.  But real as hell.  It’s 2013!  The Mayans believed it marked a changing time, a shift.  Not the end of the world, obviously. 

 

They believe life is cyclic, which it really is, if you think about it.  A life is created in a woman in a cycle.  When I think of Chakras and work on getting the assigned color to shoot out of me in the assigned location, I watch them cyclone out of me…just saying. 

 

Lot of fucking circles around the topic of life, which is really just energy.  You know that, right?  Everything is made up of the same exact things.  My bed is the same as my dog.  I’m the same as my laptop.  If you get right down to it. 

 

We’re all moving at much different speeds, of course.  But you know why we are so lucky to be born humans?  We have self-awareness.  We can step outside of ourselves and see ourselves from an observer perspective.  The dresser won’t do that.  He, yes he, will never step outside himself to say Am I being a good dresser?  Am I working the smartest I could work?  That handle has been needing repair for some time now, time to take action!

 

Everything is animate to me.  Even a rock, since they change over time…it has life, everything changes.  Things that have moving pieces, like my laptop, Daisy, they have names.  Or my old laptop, Olga.  You could probably envision the difference between the two.  One light and playful, one old and having to work hard to do things.  Not that all Olga’s are old, mind you.  They just are in my mind. 

 

This year, it’s time to start saying Yes.  Think about your dreams and goals and say Yes.  I’m going to make that happen this year.  Envision your goals. 

 

Don’t have them?  You’ve got some work to do.  I used to never have goals.  My goal was make enough money to pay my bills and enjoy life with the rest of your time.  Not that I don’t enjoy life now.  I just used to over enjoy, let’s say.  I still do. 

 

It’s important to take inventory on yourself.  Just like you do on your car every quarter, you should tend to yourself, taking a quarterly inventory on you and your life.  Taking inventory let’s you look at your life from that outside perspective…from a self-aware stance. 

 

Are my actions and priorities what they need to be to get me where I want to go?  Are all my handles on tight?  Am I truly putting it all in, and just saying yes, yes, I’m going to make this happen this year!  No doubt.  I can taste it, I just KNOW it’s gonna go down!    

 

So what’s your goal for this year?  Fuck Resolutions.  Let’s set goals.  This way, there’s no mistakes’, just lessons.  You mess up a resolution, you messed it up, why not just give up altogether now?  Right?

 

You mess up a goal?  You learn what not to do next time and keep striving, keep driving.  It’s work.  Don’t think I’m going to be like one of those people that say things will change overnight.  You need to be committed, engaged, and enthused about what it is your striving for over the long haul.  It’s a life style, not magic.    

 

We can work together, to support each other and encourage each other.  Just by sending our energy out to you from the core of Blogville, out to the world.  We can give energy so freely because it is all around us, but of course you know that.  Pulsing, flowing, in a cyclic like fashion.  Abundantly present. 

 

Go be Dapper, Blogvillians! 

 

B. Wright


What’s Your Omega Look Like?

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My father didn’t want my brother and I raised a particular religion.  He wanted us to make up our own minds on what we believed.  Although, he did set me straight on Santa around six.  “How do you think a fat man gets down a little chimney?  Have you ever seen a deer fly?  It’s just a show.  We’re broke so you’re not getting that, now go play.”  Or something like that. 

 

I still remember sitting on the couch, feeling small.  The stairway in front of me looked completely different, although I’d seen that stairway for the past couple years.  I guess a veil of cynicism, or some other burden I’m supposed to dispose of dropped in front of my eyes. 

 

I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood.  I went to my fair share of Bat Mitzvahs, Bar Mitzvahs…and is it Bas Mitzvahs?  I forget the third.  I couldn’t tell you much about the Jewish religion when I lived with them, since they spoke in another language at the services.  But later in life in some community college in some town in some world religions class, perhaps, I’d learned their big thing is questioning.  Keep questioning. 

 

And I do kind of roll that way.  Always have.  Maybe I picked it up from my Jewish friends and their incessant questioning or my father.  His response when I asked him something?  “I don’t know.  Go look it up.”  And so I would drag out some dusty encyclopedia and figure it out. 

 

I was doing some dapper work the other day and the question was “Name something you’d like to learn more about.”  I was stumped.  If I wanted to learn about something, wouldn’t I just do that?  But then I stepped back and thought , ok, on a more mastery level, what would you like to know about?  Hands down, sustainability. 

 

Something like 80% of our energy waste is from buildings.  We design because it looks nice, not because it works with the earth.  Check out www.earthships.com Amazing stuff and I so want to get down with it.  Minimize the impact.  We all can do something.  Every little thing helps, it all adds up, like drops filling a bucket.  Be the example.  Set the bar.  Reduce, reuse, recycle, re-it all up.

 

Sustainability is kind of like a religion.  They have a code, ways you should do things, leaders and gurus of their passion.  But I guess it’s different from most religions in that all of its devotees know it will change.  It will evolve.  It is the only way to survive and flourish and to let new insights and perspectives gain light for scrutiny and possible inclusion into the way of sustainability.doooowwwwwwwww.    

 

I’ve always been drawn to Buddhism.  The simplicity, the crispness, the resonance was profound for me.  Being raised without any introduction to classic religions, I’ve always shied away.  I didn’t know the discussions.  I didn’t know the story.  Never felt drawn to read about a religion that killed people. 

 

And to think that now, in 2013, people are still dying over religion.  If we could all just pause, breath, link up; we’d see we are all the same thing…seriously.  On a cellular level, we’re all the same.  All Religions aim for a similar omega. 

 

Can’t we just travel with who we want, believe in what resonates with us and meet you there at the Omega?  If there is an omega, which there’s not, but we’ll just trick them and tell the naysayers that.  Since they’d reply,

“Yeah!  Yeah, see you then!  See you at the Omega, man, and then we’ll see who’s got it right!”  

Or something like that.

 

Be Dapper,

 

B. Wright

Grow Love in Your Garden Today

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These days, I think about you, my fellow blogvillians.  I think I mentioned it before, about how I don’t have to be accountable to many. But now that I’ve met you, I feel more accountable.  My therapist the past few months has been an intern.  Interns rock because they have all this hope and belief that there just may be a chance for you to escape insanity. 

 

They have fun things like sand boxes and hand you print outs of stuff you said you were interested in.  The lady before my current therapist retired.  I think I may have sent her there…just kidding. 

 

But that being said, she wasn’t really all in the game.  So, as my new therapist said the other day, I became my own therapist.  I was showing her the Dapper Manual and Dapper Inspiration books. 

 

Dapper Soldiers, please start a Dapper Inspiration book yesterday.  A Dapper Inspiration book is a notebook, or pieces of paper if you don’t have a notebook.  You cut out images, articles, quotes that move you and glue, tape, staple…adhere to said paper.  Then, overtime you’ve amassed this reference book, tailored just for YOU! 

 

I bought a hefty stack of Oprah magazines from the thrift store for $0.25 each.  Great magazine for positive quotes and inspiration. 

 

It’s not all chick stuff either, guys.  Inspiration and introspection is not just a female role but a male’s as well.  Some local native cultures believe that the man has to develop the female side, as the female must develop the male.  Yin yang basically.  We should have a good balance to be the most successful in life. 

 

I now have, honestly, 4 Dapper Inspiration books.  They’re categorized, of course.  Stuff on camping here, sustainability here, self-betterment here.  When I find new things to add to the area, sometimes I go thru said category and cover up the info/thing I have already obtained.  There’s always a parking space, in the books and in the world. 

 

That’s the beauty of it.  You’re mind can’t distinguish between if something is real or not, it only knows emotions.  And lucky for us, we’ve got some powerful emotions. 

 

Try this.  Shut your eyes.  Ok, wait, that won’t work.  When you finish reading this, close you’re eyes.  Lift your lips up into a slight, Mona Lisa-esque smile.  Sit up straight.  Take ten of those deep breaths that woosh air into every nook and cranny of you’re shell.  And begin to see what it is you are currently in need/desire of. 

 

But see it all the way thru.  Is it a nice piece of fruit?  A strawberry just perfectly ripe?  Taste it then.  Feel the sensations.  Be totally there, eating that perfectly plump juicy ripe berry.  I miss strawberries. 

 

But for you, maybe it’s a car, a lover, a trillion dollars or ten dollars.  Whatever it may be, do some dapper dreaming and experience that which you seek in all of its fullest and deepest dimensions.  And build your dapper inspiration manual, yesterday.   

 

Until we meet again, my dear Blogvillians,

 

B. Wright